Something I find very ironic, is how foreign I STILL feel here in southern California. I'm familiar with many of the important prerequisites to "feeling at home". I have a wonderful apartment, I know how to get to the most important places (without GPS), Emily and I have found a great church (Mosaic in Pasadena), I have identified my favorite grocery stores, I know where the nearest Starbucks is (as well as the nearest drive-thru location), I have found some great hiking and biking trails, I have explored both independent and chain restaurants unique to this part of the country, etc.. I have found many comforts, yet, I still feel like a transient guest. I can't seem to shake that "vacation feeling"... knowing that inevitably this time will come to an end. At this point only God knows where Emily and I will be heading once graduation arrives in less than a year! Let me quickly emphasize that this past year has NOT been a vacation. It has been one of the most challenging, busy, & formative times in my life thus far.
Emily and I have discussed our thoughts and feelings at length regarding Los Angeles county. We share the same views of this new home of ours: It is impersonal and grossly anonymous. A huge factor is our lack of engagement with our local communities...the primary struggle being lack of time and energy. Another barrier, I believe, is the very real assumption that we will be leaving next year. If we are leaving so soon, what is the point in creating new bonds and friendships? It is hard to reconcile the differences between what is ideal and what is realistic.
Last night Emily brought up something that made so much sense. We have "friends" here, but what kind of friends? I hate to discount the genuine friendships we have formed (there are a handful). Overall, the relationships we've formed are surface level, superficial. Do these people really care for us, care about us? I could go on and on about the inadequacies we've found. This is sad, and I would also like to acknowledge that I recognize that southern California IS filled with many great people and opportunities, simply put, it isn't the place Emily and I think of when we dream of our future.
Description of the ideal: forests, mountains, seasons, quaint, friendly, slower/simpler pace, less populated, NO Walmart, land for farming, peaceful, star filled evening skies, no smog, sidewalks, trails, arts, good schools (K-12 and post-secondary). It could happen, I won't lose hope in that.
* The pictures have little if anything to do with this post. Only 54 days til Michigan!
3 comments:
You may both be surprised at how true friendships "resurface" after afew years ...or DECADES as Dad and I have discovered recently. It helps to remember, always, that NOTHING is by chance or coincidence. NOTHING happens to us that God does not "allow or ordain" in our lives for His specific purpose. Remember you two are looking at the back of the tapestry of your lives while the front is being worked. HE knows where the two of you will living so the important thing is to ask for His direction and guidance and then carefully "listen" for His answer.
I hope He suggests something alot closer to all of us who miss you so much.
I can tell even from afar that it's been life-changing and formative. Go where He leads! (Easy, right? :} )
I made great REAL friends in Charleston, and I was only there for 10 months. Besides the obvious dissimilarities, don't give up hope, and make the most of SoCal!
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