Here we go...again

It is hard to believe that my life as a graduate student is almost over. Soon, I will enter "the real world" again, as a productive citizen - giving back to the community in which I work. I feel completely ready and prepared for this next step in my developing journey towards true vocation. This preparedness is mostly attributed to my time at Azusa Pacific University as a student and employee. How I arrived here is somewhat of a blur though. Week after week of reading, writing, researching, programming, mentoring, supervising, eating, sleeping...like a small snowball tumbling down the mountain, increasing its speed, increasing its size, until finally it reaches the base of the mountain, transformed into a mammoth boulder of snow. I am a mammoth boulder of knowledge and experience, ready to take the next step. Here we go again! I certainly haven't forgotten the lessons learned, yet my "shipwreck" accident seems like a faint dream, or nightmare, from the past...and I'm alright with that. I'm excited to simply let this memory fade away under the layers of compacted "snow". Let go...

25 days until Placement Exchange, 30 days until my first research presentation at a national conference, 84 days until graduation, 99 days until my wedding day...but who's REALLY counting anyhow? Who am I kidding...I'M COUNTING, that's for sure! There is a faint glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel, buried under more reading, writing, researching, programming, mentoring, supervising, eating, and sleeping. I can see it shimmering like a dime at the bottom of the wishing well...just a few more lengths of rope, and my bucket will reach the bottom. Another weekend, another to-do list, another impossible looking feat. You know what though? I have definitely done this before, I CAN DEFINITELY do it again...SO - Here we go...again!

Musing...

In musing over the past months, all I see is a blur. A blur of reading, writing, presenting, planning, etc...and here I am. Another month closer to graduation, another month closer to marriage, another month closer to re-entering the real world. Should I be scared? Should I be nervous? There are no clear answers to these questions. It seems that my self-authorship has really kicked into gear since moving to California. Inside and outside of the classroom, I have learned what my passions are, where my talents lie, who I am, and who I want to become. Through all the flux, the only constant in my life has been my best friend, my ally, my challenger, my supporter, my love, Emily. It hasn't been easy being a graduate student, a graduate assistant, a groom. Emily has been endlessly patient and graceful. It hasn't been easy for her either, as she has changed jobs and endured unnecessary hardships along the way.

Emily is the only reason why I am not nervous, why I am not scared. Because of Emily, I have been able to focus on developing true vocation. I've been able to build a solid foundation for my career as a student affairs professional. The question I ask is no longer if I will find a job, but rather where I will find a job. No matter what, Emily and I will be together, living life, growing with each other! Thank you Emily for being my best friend and challenging me to do better and press on even when I have felt as though I couldn't anymore. I love you more and more each day and cannot wait to pronounce that love in front of God, all of our family, and friends! I love to muse on you Emily, and our future together, wherever that journey may lead.